On giving everyone in the class a Valentine

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When I was in elementary school, we had Valentine’s Day celebrations.  And we had to give Valentine’s Day cards to everyone else in the class.  The reasoning seems to be: What eight year olds need is a holiday celebrating romantic love! This is weird enough on its own.  But then teachers realize: Romantic love often brings a great deal of pain that even many adults cannot handle.  At this point, they have three options:

1) Drop it.  Realize your passing fancy wasn’t a spark of genius and ignore Valentine’s entirely.

2) “Build character”.  This is the philosophy that life is pain, so you might as well pile it on while kids are young.  If weird kids don’t realize they’re unloveable at age eight, they might be happy, and that’s liberal PC bullshit.

3) Gut the holiday.  Remove the romance and exclusivity but keep the trappings, yielding a hollow shell of forced platonic friendship and inefficient candy distribution.  Every one of my elementary school teachers decided this was a good idea.

School is a prison of the surreal.


Written by pinkocrat

February 22, 2013 at 3:33 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , , , ,

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